Sunday lesson

I am preparing the RS lesson for Sunday and I can't help but think of how thankful I am to my Heavenly Father for all my weaknesses and how patient he is with me.  This lesson is chapter 6 of the Lorenzo Snow manual, Becoming perfect before the Lord: A little better day by day.  It goes along with yesterday's lesson, chapter 5, The grand destiny of the faithful.  Yesterday as we were learning; "As man now is, God once was: As God now is, man may be", I remembered back when I was about 10 or 11. For some reason the subject of becoming like God was so fascinating to me as a kid.  I was so excited about it and never had a doubt that I could become like my Heavenly Father.  I remembered trying to convert my friend and next door neighbor Mildred. I would tell her about the church and how it was the only true church and that she should get baptized. I remember telling her that we could become like God.  She was Catholic and to her that was blasphemy. She would tell me that we would never be like Him, that I should not say those things.  She ended up marrying a distant cousin of mine and she became a pastor.  She was always very religious and a God fearing person even as a child.  Oh well, I used to think, I tried to convert her.

I am excited about this coming Sunday's lesson, because I get to teach it in Spanish, but also because it is so beautiful. It is so beautifully written.  I am thankful for President Snow, and for his experiences.  When I read  the story at the beginning of the lesson, I thought he was just like me!!  He was painfully shy and it was really hard for him to speak in public.  Even when he had to share his testimony it was so hard for him.  I wish I had read this years ago!! I have always struggled with this.  Since I was a kid it was so hard for me to say prayers, bear my testimony and give talks at church.  I would put myself down, thinking that I was a failure. I was always comparing myself to others who had that "gift" of speaking in front of people.  I remember when they called me as Primary president and how hard sharing time was for me. When I was pregnant with Conner I was called as Primary chorister, and that was hard too! Especially during the primary program, having to lead the music in front of everyone, what if I messed up!!! It has always been a struggle for me, so painful, I get sick to my stomach, I get headaches, I can't sleep all because I have to get up in front of people.  SO, it was so wonderful to see that President Snow was just like me!!! When I was called as 1st counselor in the Stake RS last year, I was mortified!!  I have to go around the wards teaching RS, I have to teach at Leadership training meetings, I have to SPEAK 3 times during the year in OTHER wards!!!! This all  was going around my head. I never turn down a calling, I was taught! So I have learned to ask Heavenly Father to help me, because this weakness is BIGGER than me!!!! Even though I am excited because it is in Spanish, therefore easier for me to teach, I am still so SCARED!!!  This lesson though, is just what I needed.

I am thankful for a patient and loving Heavenly Father who KNOWS exactly what I need to grow and be better every day.  He gives us exactly what we NEED so that we can grow and become WHO He wants us to be!! We are not perfect but as long as we are trying our best it will all be good. I sometimes feel discouraged because I might have lost my patience or did something else that I should not have, but all He asks of us is to repent and start over.  There is no need to be depressed or discouraged!! He says that we are perfect in some things and not in others.  For example, we go to church every Sunday and keep the Sabbath day holy, we are perfect in that sense.  We pay our tithing, we are perfect in that too.  So we should work on those things we are not perfect at, and ask His help because we can't do it alone.  We need His help, if we think we can do it without Him, we are wrong.  We should not expect to become perfect at once, right away, it takes time, little by little, day after day.  As we become stronger, we become better at overcoming our weaknesses.  We grow everyday in knowledge and wisdom and become more experienced as we get older and our ability to accomplish good increases.  As we get older we should live nearer to the Lord each following day.