January 25, 2017
My friend Aixa Maria Ramos Ruiz de Ocasio was 56 years old was born on February 21, 1960 in Santurce, Puerto Rico and died on January 22, 2017 in Orlando, Florida. She served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the Las Vegas Nevada mission.
This is what I shared at Aixa's funeral yesterday,
I want to share a few thoughts about Aixa. I met Aixa about 7
years ago or so when they moved to the Windermere area. We became instant
friends. Aixa was a simple and humble
person with a big heart. She loved children and she loved my children and
grandchildren as if they were her own. She always asked me how they were doing
and was genuinely concerned for them. She always asked to see their pictures. I
gave her a Christmas picture of our family to have at the rehab center and when
they moved her to another room she complained because they forgot the picture
which was on the bulletin board by her bed. She would call me almost every day just to
talk. When her son Anthony and my son Conner were younger, we would get together
at my house so they would swim in the pool and we would sit in the back porch
and knit hats or crochet blankets. Many
of the babies she knew received her hats and blankets as gifts. It made her
happy to give gifts, she always had a birthday and Christmas gift for me. When
we would start speaking in our Puertorrican way no one would understand us. We
even had a nickname for each other. When my house was broken into my husband
was out of town and Aixa and Edwin came and stayed with me and my kids that
night. She was always happy no matter what was going on in her life, she was
always cracking jokes. Aixa was loved by everyone because she showed love to
everyone. The last time I spoke with her which was Friday morning I told her to
smile and she did. That is how I will always remember her, always happy.
Elder Russel M. Nelson said “Life does not begin with birth
nor does it end with death”. I know I will see her again.
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| Me, Penny Keoppel, Lucy Anglero, Aixa Ocasio |
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| Lucy Anglero, me and Aixa at my house. |
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| Ocasio family. Aixa, Anthony and Edwin. |
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| Randy and Shawna Heninger, Edwin and Aixa Ocasio, me and Yaremi Olvera. The day Edwin took out his endowments. |
I took these pictures on her sealing day.
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This
was the day of their sealing. The dress was a gift from me. She didn't have a
dress to wear so we sat down on the computer and she picked this one and I gave
it to her as a wedding gift.
Aixa suffered a lot. She had diabetes and other
complications but through it all she always smiled and she loved children. She
was an elementary school teacher in Puerto Rico. Because of her bad health and
her husband's bad health as well they struggle financially and physically. She
loved my children and grandchildren so much. I found out as I was speaking to
her brother Nicolas that when she called him everyday she would not talk about
herself but about my kids and grandkids and other kids she loved. She would
tell him all about their lives. He said she considered me her sister. Meeting
her family yesterday at the funeral was funny because when I said I was Maria
they already knew who I was. She always spoke to them about me.
She was in and out of rehabilitation and the hospital.
Before leaving for Utah at Christmas time I went and visited her in the
hospital. She was so sick due to the fact that had liver failure and her
ammonia levels were too high. She was in a comma. I thought that she would die.
She survived and went back to rehab.
She was getting physical therapy because she needed to strengthen her legs. The day I took the picture she was complaining because it was cold and she needed a jacket. Her husband is almost completely blind, can't drive, has diabetes and is on dialysis three times a week. There family lived 45 minutes away and couldn't help a whole lot. I went to Walmart and got her a jacket. Not too long after that she went back into the hospital on Monday, January 16th, but this time she was worse. Besides liver failure she had renal failure. On Thursday I got a call from Edwin Ocasio her husband saying that she had called my name. He said the hospital called him to tell him to hurry over there.
I went to the hospital, thinking this was my last goodbye, she had tubes everywhere, she had her wrists tied to the bed. She knew who I was. She kept saying she wanted to be untied, but they were worried she would try to pull her tubes. She had IVs everywhere, she was being kept alive by machines. She was on life support. That day Edwin, sister Kandy Hunt and I spoke about what was best for Aixa. Edwin was having a hard time deciding of what to do. Aixa was in pain, she couldn't eat anything not even ice chips. It was dangerous to eat ice or drink water, it could go in her lungs and cause pneumonia. She said "no puedo mas" (I can't take it anymore). Kandy said it was best to let her go, I told Edwin that I had told Brent that if I was ever in that situation to not keep me alive. It was hard but Edwin made the decision to let her go. When he told the nurse, the nurse said it was the best decision. I was there when he signed the papers for hospice and to turn off the life support. It was one the hardest thing I have ever seen someone do. It was so hard for me and I was in shock. When we went back into the room she was already free of the tubes and was eating ice chips. I left and she went to sleep, her blood pressure went down and we thought she would die that night. Brent and I went to see her again that night and she was in a comma.
The next morning on Friday, she was awake even though her pressure was very low. My friend Lucy, also Aixa's friend and I went to see her. She was awake and we talked with her, she recognized us and she even smiled for me when I asked her to smile. We left for lunch so that her family could have some time with her. When Lucy and I came back from lunch Aixa and Edwin were sleeping so we left. I never saw Aixa awake again. She was transferred to hospice later Friday afternoon. Edwin called me to tell me he felt she only had hours to live. Brent and I went on Saturday afternoon to see her. We took Edwin home to shower and rest. On Sunday January 22, 2016 at 5:15 PM she passed away peacefully.
I bought the flowers on the left at the top by the podium. The Heningers bought the other two. I bought the frames and printed the pictures. Her son Anthony took the framed pictures.
For about 7 years I got to know Aixa. She called me almost everyday. I saw how she deteriorated. It is very sad.
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Aixa at Halloween one year. She was always happy.
UPDATE: February 9, 2017
Aixa's husband Edwin passed away last week. Ever since Aixa was admitted to the hospital a few months ago, Edwin started calling me. As things became harder and harder for him he started calling almost everyday. I had Aixa calling me and Edwin calling me almost everyday. Sometimes they would get demanding that I help, asking me to help them solve their problems. It became very stressful for me. I tried to help Aixa the best way I could. Brent was Edwin's home teacher and bishop so Brent suggested I would block Edwin's calls from time to time. I blocked them and he was forced to call Brent. When Aixa died Edwin continued to call me. I spoke with him a few times including the Sunday before he passed away. I tried to encourage him to not be depressed but that is hard to do when you lose your spouse. In looking at his phone which we have, he made phone calls on Monday. He called me but I was not answering his calls that day, I was hoping he would call Brent but he didn't. I had spoken to him that weekend and he had asked me for the mailbox key that his son Anthony had. Anthony was staying with the Hunts while Aixa was in the hospital and continued to stay with them after she died because Edwin was not able to care for him or himself. His kidneys didn't work so he had dialysis three days a week and he couldn't see due to glaucoma and cataract. Edwin was also a diabetic. We were trying to figure out how to help him and move him to an assisted living. On Monday our Elders Quorum president was going to meet with Edwin and give him the mailbox key, which Brent gotten from Anthony and gave to the EQ President. The EQ President called Edwin but Edwin didn't answer. He kept calling all week but no answer. It wasn't until Thursday night that the EQ President texted Brent to tell him that he had not been able to get a hold of Edwin. He even went by and knocked on the door but no answer. I called Edwin that night and he didn't answer me. I figure he may have gone to bed but I also felt something was wrong because he didn't call me since Monday. On Friday morning I called again and no answer. I spoke with Kandy Hunt and we decided to have someone check on him. Kandy called the dialysis center and asked if Edwin had been going to dialysis. They told her that information was confidential so instead they told her to have someone check on him. She felt something was wrong so because they told her to have someone go to his apartment. She called the police and the police asked her how was she related to Edwin because the dialysis center had already called the police. Kandy told them she was taking care of Edwin's son. The police then felt they should tell her what was happening and they told her Edwin was found dead sitting on his couch. Kandy called Brent and told him and Brent and I quickly went over to Edwin's apartment. I was the first one there and there were three police SUVs. I obviously couldn't go inside the apartment. I answered all of their questions about Edwin since they had no clue who he was or anything about his family. Brent got there and then he answered more questions. We feel he died Monday night or early Tuesday morning. His phone revealed that he made his last phone calls on Monday evening and then he received calls all week but never answered. The police said no autopsy was going to be done and that he passed away peacefully.
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| Last Saturday February 4th, we went to their apartment to help Anthony take his things to the Hunt's. It was strange being in their home one last time. Since the rent was not paid for February, whatever was left in the apartment the apartment complex would throw it away. I was the last one out with the key. I took this last picture as I locked the door. I told Aixa and Edwin goodbye for now. |
